Reflections from Deepening the Circle: Spiritual Herbalism – Nettles
Every morning, I wake up and look out at the nettle patch in my garden. I planted them in the side of the garden where, I often hear sounds and see things that make me feel angry and scared, reminding me of life on the block we left to find respite here.
The light catches just right, and the leaves shine in the morning sun. Vibrant, green, alive.
They look so happy, so friendly. And every time, I smile. Because I remember that energy in my spirit too—rooted, awake, curious, protective, open.
Nettles reminds me what it means to be a good friend and an authentic source of community care.It means being clear and letting people know where and how I need to be handled. Like in the Indigenous stories, where nettle earned his sting after being trampled and disrespected, I carry that lesson: you can be warm and welcoming, and still have boundaries that command respect. You can smile in the sun and wave in the wind—and still say enough when needed. Nettles taught me this good medicine.
Recently, I lost someone very close to me. After years of trying to make a relationship work, I had to accept that the way I move in the world just didn’t work for this person. It hurt deeply. There was grief, and bitterness, and that sharp sting of “what else could I have done?” But working with nettles in these past few months has helped me clear that sting—not erase the pain, but move through it. The bitterness has softened. I feel a calm que sera, sera in my body. The shape of that relationship has changed, the boundary, in a dramatic way, and still—I feel green. I feel full of aliveness and firm in how and where I will be handled in any relationship.
Facilitating these plant Deva classes has been one of the sweetest experiences I’ve had in a long time. I didn’t teach it from above, I facilitated it as a peer. I showed up as someone who’s still learning, still growing. And in that space, I got to redefine what it means to teach. I got to be part of a learning process that was gentle, not harsh or punishing like so many of us were taught. That kind of gentleness is healing to my little Donyelle.
The participants were brilliant. I’m still holding the things they said, the questions they asked, the way they saw nettles with new and ancient eyes. They taught me so much about nettles’ spiritual medicine through story and deep presence.
I am reminded, again and again, that the learning doesn’t come from just one voice.
And my comrades?
Listen.
I am constantly amazed and honored to walk with them. They are eloquent, brilliant, tender, wise. They bring their full selves to the work, and it shows. Their medicine is real. They are midwives to each other’s re-membering.
Also, nettle pesto is better with a little basil. I don’t care what anyone says. Add some garlic, olive oil, lemon? Chile! Spread it on shoe leather, and I’ll still gobble it up.
The spirit of nettles is awake.
He is kind and powerful and generous. He sways and shimmers in the moonlight. He stands tall, clear, and open to relationship. And he’s my friend now.
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